Fear You Won't Fall by Amy

Courage. Strength. Independence. So often it seems like these things go hand in hand. And we strive for them. As we travel into adulthood, we work hard to become self-sufficient and take pride in our ability to take care of ourselves. Amidst the chaos of growing up, we find ways to gain control over the journey that we are taking. We pick ourselves up when we trip. In our own ways, we become courageous, independent and strong.

But then we fall in love.

It’s been said many times that there’s a reason we call it falling in love. It’s not a jump; not a conscious decision made after mentally making lists and pondering the pros and cons. It creeps up on us when we least expect it, takes us by surprise, and all of a sudden, despite all of our hard-earned independence, we find ourselves falling and unable to control what we want most.

In one of my favourite songs, Joshua Radin sings "part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall". When I first heard these lyrics, I didn’t understand. Falling in love inevitably opens up a new realm of emotions and ‘what ifs’. Where is the beauty in the fact that you might be falling alone?

Now I know that the beauty is in the risk. Once the realisation hits that you have fallen for someone, you are confronted with a choice: to embrace your feelings, or battle against them and run in the opposite direction. If you choose to allow yourself to continue to fall, you face – in contradiction to the independence and control that you have previously striven for – the terrifying prospect of letting someone see you in your weakest and most vulnerable moments. You can’t always predict their response. But that’s where the beauty lies.

Sometimes the gamble pays off; those moments of honesty have the potential to reveal to us someone who wants to share our lowest moments with us. Just as it takes allowing someone to see you with no makeup on to know that they think you are beautiful exactly the way you are. It takes honesty and sharing the way you feel to know that you are not alone. Taking that leap of faith and choosing to continue the fall might seem daunting, but it’s beautiful and exciting at the same time.

Amy is a teacher who is currently enjoying her time as a full time mum. Take a peek at her blog here. Find more posts by Amy here...

ILLUSTRATION BY laura penny. You can find her over on Facebook and at lulabee.co.uk.