Recently, whilst researching an article for an upcoming writing job, I discovered some interesting facts and figures about marriage. Across every age group, marriage rates have fallen steadily since 1970. There has been a virtual disappearance of marriage amongst those under the age of 25, and it is likely that only half of today's 20-year-olds will marry in their lifetime. It seems that marriage is becoming an outdated and old-fashioned concept for some.
I spoke to my sister, Emily, who married her long-term boyfriend in September about her big day, why she is still a believer in marriage, and why she chose marriage as her New Beginning...
First things first... tell me a little about the proposal!
We got engaged in February last year. He took me on a surprise trip to Venice and popped the question as we stood on a bridge overlooking the Grand Canal one night… It was very emotional. I can’t describe how happy and excited I was, even though I kind of expected it was coming… We’d discussed the idea of getting engaged for a few years, but we’d just been waiting for the right time. There are so many things to take into account, like getting steady, well-paid jobs after finishing university. I must admit, I also had an inkling he would propose when he told me he was taking me away for a trip! He’d never ever done anything this before… normally he leaves all the decisions and planning to me!
So, how long had you been together before you got married?
About seven years… We first met when we were just seventeen. We were just friends then… It seems like such a long time ago! We kind of lost contact for a while until we were about twenty, and then things just developed from then on.
Why did you feel like marriage was the next important step to take in your life?
It was important to both of us that we made this commitment to each other. Although fewer people are choosing to get married, we both still believe that it is an important stage in someone’s life. It’s traditional. I felt like I was at the right stage in my life to consider getting married… and we’ve been together for 7 years and lived with each other for 4 years. It felt like the right time, and we are both 110% certain that we are right for one another. I would eventually like to have children, and marriage definitely provides a solid foundation for a family.
And, how about the wedding day? Were you keen to make it a big celebration?
I was very keen to have a proper wedding! It’s such a big step in someone’s life, I think it’s important to celebrate that and to share the experience with all your family and friends. And… I was keen to have the wedding that I had always wanted! We are both very close to our families so a large wedding was necessarily… going for a smaller more exclusive wedding would have left out and lot of people we care about.
Little girls often dream about their dream wedding, what were your expectations of the day?
I was never one of those girls who already has their whole wedding planned out before they are even engaged! I was a bit clueless to be honest, so I had no real expectations to begin with. As soon as we were engaged, I got straight onto Pinterest to start getting ideas. I started pinning anything and everything that I liked. I kind of got it into my head that I would be able to have everything… which did increase my expectations somewhat! I really had no idea how expensive weddings were.
We both decided that the most important thing was the right venue. If we got the right venue, we wouldn't have to spend a lot of money decorating and making it look amazing. And, I honestly think we achieved that… it was a beautiful venue. It was exactly what we wanted and it was just down the road! Because we spent the majority of our budget on the venue, I did a lot of DIY. It meant that we saved money and made everything really personal, which is what I wanted.
I think our biggest hope was to give our friends and family an amazing day as well. There was a lot of pressure, for example, to pick food that everyone would like… and to keep everyone from grandparents to young children happy.
I personally feel that the day was exactly how I wanted it to be and exactly how I planned it… I wouldn't change a thing. My advice would be: stick to your budget, prioritise where to spend your money, and be willing to be a bit crafty... and then you can achieve your dream day!
What do you think marriage will bring to your relationship?
Mostly security and commitment. At the moment our relationship hasn't changed, and I’m not even sure if it will in the near future. But that’s a good thing! I suspect it might change slightly when we have children!
And, what does marriage mean for your own individual future?
I don't think it will change me drastically as a person either. However, it has made me question my happiness in other aspects of my life. At the moment I'm looking into a career change or adapting my current career… I’d like to find a job that makes me truly happy and that will fit in with my future plans… Like having children. I really just hope for a lifetime of happiness, companionship and commitment.
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